Down the Well
by Erimthar
Summary: Buffy and friends have an underground adventure along with an unexpected new Slayer.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** Set during season 8 (comics) sometime during the "Predators & Prey" arc; crossover with "Tomb Raider" video game. This is a sequel to my earlier stories, "But We Know Pleasure Is Not That Simple" and "The Little Death," and continues the story of the AU relationship between Buffy and Satsu. No explicit sex, but lots of sexuality, all of it f/f. **Spoilers:** For Buffy season 8 up to issue #21 and for the "Tomb Raider: Underworld" video game.

**Part One**

"We've been doing a lot of rappelling lately, haven't we?" Rowena remarked, looking up at the darkness above and then down at the darkness below. "_Gott im Himmel_."

"Aw, dry yer eyes," came Leah's Scottish burr, from somewhere off to her right. "You're the best of all of us when it comes to climbing ropes and jumping out of helicopters and whatnot. Me, I got no feeling left in my hands."

"Now, what kind of Slayer doesn't enjoy a good rappell?" came Buffy's voice from the other side of the shaft. "I live to rappell, myself. I even have special underwear for it. Lycra underwear."

"Lycra, kevlar, leather," said Satsu. "Standard ensemble for the stylish Slayer on the go. I think all I need now is a pair of spike-heeled boots and a whip."

Buffy swallowed the wrong way and had a brief coughing fit. Leah and Rowena chuckled in the darkness.

"We need to get Willow to make us some magic floating shoes or something," suggested Rowena.

"My ears are burning," said Willow, floating down the center of the shaft and startling them all. Suddenly a nice warm light emanated from a point in the air near her, and the Slayers were finally able to see for the first time in nearly half an hour. They all murmured in appreciation.

"Handy travel tip," Buffy said. "When climbing down into a thousand-foot-deep well, bring along a flying witch with a magical torch."

'Two witches," Willow corrected. "I brought Technomancer Sandra, Portal Mistress Extraordinaire, too."

"How are you doing, San?" Buffy called.

"Lovely," Sandra answered, clinging to Willow for dear life. "Hoping not to vomit until we get to the bottom."

"That would be good," agreed Willow.

"Good thing my glasses haven't slid down my nose and fallen to their death yet," Sandra remarked. "I can read the writing all around the wall of the shaft here. It's Arabic."

"Is that the standard language of Hellmouths?" Buffy asked. "Seems kind of politically incorrect."

"No, usually it would be one of the pre-human Dark languages," Sandra said. "Most Hellmouths seeded long before any such language as Arabic existed. And technically this isn't a Hellmouth, it's a proto-Hellmouth. It hasn't opened yet. Once they open, they're a _lot_ harder to get rid of."

"_Ha!_ I noticed that," Buffy replied.

"Let's just be glad we got here in time. We shouldn't have any trouble sealing it up at this point."

"You realize you just totally jinxed it, don't you?" Buffy sounded reproachful.

"Sorry," said Sandra. "I may be a witch, but I'm also a scientist. Jinxes can be controlled."

"With enough Virgin Tears, at least," added Willow.

"Or other virgin bodily fluids," agreed Sandra.

"Ew," observed Leah.

"Sorry," said Willow. "No more ingredient discussions around the mundanes."

"_Mundane?_"

"I see the bottom," said Rowena. "About thirty meters to go."

"Thank all the gods of field and stream and other similar periodicals," said Buffy.

* * * * *

When they arrived on solid ground at the bottom of the shaft, they wasted no time in forming up and moving out. Buffy and Satsu in front – Buffy with her Scythe and Satsu with a strange-looking firearm that looked like a rail gun. Sandra in the middle with her handheld detection equipment. Willow with her, to protect her and to be in position to float up above and cast spells in any direction if needed. Leah and Ro keeping watch in the rear.

Satsu glanced over at Buffy and smiled as they marched along in accordance with Sandra's directions.

"Looks like we're working side-by-side again," she said, low enough so the others couldn't hear. "Funny how it seems to work out that way so often."

"You got a problem with that, soldier?" Buffy replied with mock severity, but giving Satsu a secret grin that almost made her giggle.

"Not a one, ma'am."

"I'm the one with the Scythe, you're the one with the Sun Gun and the skill to use it. You're the best shot in the squad. And there _will_ be vamps. Did I mention there will be vamps?"

"Sure did. Let's hope this newfangled gun works right."

"Yes, let's," said Sandra from behind them. "New or old fangled, I don't see how it can fail, unless we stay down here after night falls up above."

"I have every confidence in you, Sandra," Buffy said. "And anyway, if anything goes wrong, we just go back to the classics. When all else fails, cram a stake in it."

* * * * *

As they followed the readouts from Sandra's Hellmouth-finding gadgets, they soon noticed a light coming from farther down the passage, and Willow was able to drop her torch spell.

"Be ready," Buffy warned everyone. "Light down here means either volcanic activity, or something even less good."

"There is some subterranean volcanic activity here in the Pyrenees," Sandra said.

"But this isn't it," Buffy said as what looked to be half a dozen winged vampires came sweeping up the corridor towards them. "Crap."

Willow quickly fired a magical wind gust down the tunnel which pushed the flying vamps back just a bit, giving Buffy and Satsu a couple of extra seconds to ready their weapons, and Leah time to get to the front and take up position next to them with her sword in one hand and her three-foot-long ashwood stake (which she had nicknamed "The Bitch") in the other.

Satsu quickly raised her gun and aimed it at the lead vamp. As she pulled the trigger a tiny magic portal opened at the back of the barrel. Light, from the open sky several thousand feet above, flooded through it into the gun's laser mechanism and sent a ray of focused sunlight into the vamp's chest.

The vamp exploded in a cloud of dust, causing its companions to pull back in alarm and drawing cries of "Yes!" from both Sandra and Buffy.

Satsu got off one more shot, dusting one more vampire, before its companions made a desperate rush and got inside the gun's range. Then it was just a matter of by-the-book vampire slaying. Buffy Scythed one, Leah staked another with The Bitch, Willow blasted a third with a spell, and Rowena (still guarding the rear) took out the last survivor with a crossbow bolt.

"I think we can declare our Sun Gun test a success," Buffy said.

"I could've gotten more of them if they hadn't come on us so suddenly," said Satsu.

"Let's nae get too cocky," Leah warned. "Where we've got to go next... that's where they came from."

It turned out that "where they came from" was a vast cavern, brightly lit by some unknown source (not sunlight, obviously), but obscured by so much smoke and mist that the place looked like the inside of a mushroom cloud.

Just a few feet into the massive cavern, the floor fell away in a sheer cliff, the bottom of which may have been twenty feet or twenty thousand feet below, for all they could tell.

"You guessed it, kids," said Sandra with a sigh. "The Hellmouth is that way." She pointed out straight across the huge gulf.

"Great," said Buffy. "What the hell... mouth... do we do now?"

As if on cue – and perhaps predictably – a monster chose that moment to lunge out of the mist at them.

_Wow, that's a big monster_, thought Buffy.

Then she saw the fangs and the forked tongue and the slit-pupilled eyes. _Correction. That's the __head__ of a __really__ big monster._

"Mayor Snake, incoming!" she shouted.

"...The hell is a Mayor Snake?" Leah inquired.

"That!" Buffy explained.

The thing's head was the size of an SUV, and its serpentine body stretched down into the pit. Slayers and witches scattered in all directions as the huge head slammed down against the stone ledge they were standing on.

As she dove out of the way, Buffy noticed that the thing looked less like a snake trying to strike, and more like a snake trying to get something very annoying off its head. That something looked very much like a young woman with dark auburn hair, who was hanging on for dear life by the pair of daggers she had wedged in between the scales on the sides of the serpent's head.

As the snake reared up again, Buffy got a momentary good look at the woman in question. "Oi," the snake-rider called down at her. "No poaching!"

The serpent flung its head to the left and right, nearly pitching her off both times. "Unless you want to lend a hand," she amended. "We might be able to strike a deal...."

_What is it with these Mayor Demons?_ Buffy wondered. _Do they all come with a crazy brunette attached?_

Willow threw herself into the air, hung there, and pointed at the serpent-thing. "_Argos_!"

The creature's movements suddenly slowed considerably, as if it were trying to thrash its way through a vat of oatmeal.

"That's better," the strange woman said. She pulled a pair of pistols out of holsters strapped to her thighs, and emptied them both into the serpent's head.

The monster tried its best to thrash in a death agony, but could only manage to wave about pathetically. Its rider leisurely stood up atop its head and gracefully dove off it, executing a pretty somersault before landing lightly on her feet on the ledge.

"May I borrow your axe, miss?" she asked Buffy. "These Pit Hydras regenerate, but this head will be out of commission much longer if I cut it right off."

Buffy shook her head. "Me and the Scythe are a package deal... but I'll take care of it." Buffy waited for the head to swing nearby, and leapt up on it.

The stranger shook her head. "Reckless," she said. "Reminds me of someone." She turned to Leah. "May I borrow your sword, or are you keen on the DIY plan as well?"

"Be my guest," Leah said, and handed over her blade.

"Cheers," said the new girl, and quickly joined Buffy in riding the snake.

Three Slayers and two witches watched in bemusement as Buffy and the stranger chopped and sawed doggedly (and disgustingly) at the serpent's neck. The head seemed to be quite dead now, although the neck was still doing its best. The two women hopped off it and back on to the ledge as the head finally toppled off and fell into the darkness below. The serpent neck, squirting black gore, sank out of sight after it.

Buffy and the stranger stood looking at each other in silence for a few minutes as they caught their breath. Now that she had a chance to get a good look, Buffy thought this girl was a bit underdressed for this kind of work. Her long, athletic legs were bare, stretching attractively between a pair of sturdy boots and thick socks, and an extremely brief pair of khaki shorts. A truly impressive set of breasts were crammed into a gulp-inducingly tight green corduroy top. The woman's auburn hair was pulled back into a long, tight braid. She was undoubtedly British, judging by her accent, and she seemed to have hardly a scratch on her despite the bracing nature of her recent activities.

Buffy put out her hand to shake. "Buffy Summers," she introduced herself. "I'm not sure what the hell you're doing down here, but pleased to meet ya."

"Buffy Summers? The Slayer?" The new girl took Buffy's hand and gave it a firm shake. "And these ladies are some of yours, I take it?"

"You've heard of us," Buffy said joylessly. _Who hasn't, these days?_

"Oh, I'd heard of you long before your recent news-worthiness. Don't worry. Not everyone gets their world view from reality television. I'm Lara, by the way. Thanks for your help."

"Lara _Croft_?" Buffy said, astonished. _I knew I recognized those boobs from somewhere..._

"As in, Angelina Jolie?" Willow asked.

Lara rolled her eyes and sighed. "Should've been Kate Beckinsale. Bloody Michael Bay and his _Pearl Harbor _crap. But yes, that's me. So... what brings the Slayers down into the Well of Abderame?"

"Is that what it's called? Let's see..." Buffy counted on her fingers. "Demons. Vampires. And a baby Hellmouth that needs closing before it becomes a bad-tempered grownup Hellmouth. I guess you've already met one of the demons."

"That was no demon," Lara said. "Just a Pit Hydra. Bad enough, though. There are vampires down here, you say? I didn't know that."

Just then, another giant snake head loomed out of the mist, right behind Lara. And this time, hanging on to it were another half dozen...

"Speak of the devils," Buffy shouted. "Lara, behind you. Vamps. And another Pit Hydrant thing."

The vampires leapt off the serpent's head and made straight for Lara, who was armed only with her useless pistols. "Bollocks," she said.

"Lara, _catch_!" Buffy tossed her the Scythe.

Lara speared one of the vamps with the tip of the blade in the same motion that she caught it. A quick stab to the right with the stake-end, and to the left with the blade end, took care of two more.

Satsu dusted another vamp with her Sun Gun, then pointed it at the Hydra, which was looming over Lara and clearly about to strike. She caught it neatly in one eye with a blast of concentrated sunlight, partially blinding and distracting it for a few moments.

Meanwhile, Lara had quickly polished off another vamp. Rowena picked off the last one with her crossbow.

Willow cast another torch spell, this one centered directly on the monster's other eye. For the moment, it was blinded by the bright light in both its eyes.

"Over here," called Leah from another part of the chamber. "There's another passage."

A few moments later, seven exhausted women sat catching their breath in an empty chamber some distance away. They could still hear the roars of the furious Hydra they'd left behind, but it had no way to reach them here.

"Interesting weapon, this," Lara said, examining the Scythe, which she still held.

"It's my Scythe," Buffy told her. "Goes with Senior Slayerhood."

"This isn't a scythe," Lara told her. "More of a voulge, if I know my polearms. Or a sort of lochaber axe."

Buffy took it back from her, making an effort not to yank. "You looked like a natural using the _Scythe_," she said. "Willow, maybe you'd better do a check."

"You think so?" Willow asked. She walked over, took Lara's hand in hers, and put her other hand on the blade of the Scythe. She closed her eyes and concentrated for a few moments.

"Yep," she said at last. "She's a Slayer, all right."

"What?" Lara went wide-eyed. "You're kidding. I... I don't know what to say. I've been feeling a bit stronger and quicker lately, and healing a bit faster, but I thought I'd just levelled up or something."

The others stared at her.

"Alright, bad joke." She looked down at her boots. "You're just taking the mick with this business about me being a Slayer, aren't you?"

"I'm not taking the Mick, Keith, Paul, George or Ringo," Buffy assured her. "The Scythe doesn't lie."

"I'm going to have to raise my fees, then," Lara said, shaking her head with disbelief. "Never a scythe, though," she added under her breath.

Buffy rolled her eyes.

_**To be continued…**_


	2. Chapter 2

After a few minutes of fiddling with her equipment and taking mysterious readings, Sandra announced she had once again picked up the signature of the baby Hellmouth, and the group of women was soon following Willow's torch spell down long, snaky tunnels. Lara seemed right at home, the others less so.

"You know what seems strange to me, Will?" Buffy said. "Lara here is about our age. I would have thought (no offense, Lara) that she was a little too old to be activated when you did your thing with the Scythe."

"I would have thought so too," Willow mused. "Kennedy was only twenty, and we weren't even sure if she would make the cut." She thought for a few moments. "Lara, when did you first realize you were different from other girls?"

"Hmmm," said Lara. "Like so many of us, I'd say it was when I saw Princess Leia in that yummy gold bikini."

"I meant in terms of...._Oh!_ Really?"

In the back, Leah and Rowena grinned at each other. "I'm telling ya, mate," Leah said. "We're surrounded by 'em. Absolutely surrounded."

Willow quickly un-flustered herself. "Uh, that's really cool. But what I meant was, when did you start noticing you'd gotten stronger and more agile and started healing faster?"

Lara thought for a few moments. "Five years ago, give or take?"

"Five years," Buffy repeated. "But the Scythe spell was only about three years ago. What happened five years ago?"

She and Willow stared at each other, realization dawning at the same time. "Glory's tower," Buffy said. Willow nodded.

"But... I thought... before you cast the spell and changed all the rules around... only Faith dying would activate a new Slayer."

"That's what Giles thought," Willow said. "It's what the Watcher's Council thought. When you... when that thing happened... the Council probably didn't even think to look for a new Slayer."

Lara smiled at them politely. "You lot realize I have no idea what you're on about. Don't you?"

"Well," said Buffy with a tight smile, "as the Watchers used to say... and Andrew still says... _We need to have a talk about your destiny._"

"Oh, lovely. Have you found it?"

* * * * *

It was probably inevitable that Sandra's equipment eventually led them to a huge door, made of elaborately carved iron inlaid with gold panels, which had some sort of fancy script writing etched into them. There was always a door like that in the movies. It was firmly immovable, of course, and there was no visible way to unlock it, of course.

Willow tried her best opening spell, but the little bolt of blue magic bounced right off the door and ricocheted around among the party, finally hitting Satsu and causing her backpack to unbuckle itself and drop to the floor.

"Wow," said Willow sheepishly. "I guess it was a good call not to try blowing it open with a blasting spell first."

"I appreciate that," said Satsu, gathering up her stuff.

"Allow me," said Lara, stepping up to the front. "I deal with doors like this for fun and profit. I've even had a wall calendar made up with pictures of my favorite magical trick doors."

She examined the door closely for several minutes, deep in thought.

"The thing you have to understand about this whole complex," she said, "is that it was built by Muslims, during a very religiously devout period of their history. They controlled Spain at the time, and this place, here in the Pyrenees between Spain and France, was the dividing line between the territory of the holy Caliphate and the howling wilderness of the infidels."

"You see these gold panels with Arabic lettering on them?" She pointed to several different sections of the door. "Each one is inscribed with the name of one of the six great Prophets of Islam. A devout Muslim would know them, in the proper order: Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses, Jesus, and Muhammad. To open the door, one needs to press each of the panels in the right order."

"But if one were to simply do that," she said, looking back at the others with a smile, "do you know what would happen?"

The question drew silence, until Sandra spoke up. "Some horrible trap would be triggered and squash us all to jelly because we didn't show the proper religious respect," she said. "That panel running along the bottom reads: _'Alayhis salaam_ -- which means _Peace Be Upon Him_ in Arabic. And the one along the top reads: _Sall Allahu 'alayhi wa sallam_ -- _Allah give him blessings and peace_."

"And you know the difference between the two?"

"You use the first after speaking the name of a prophet," Sandra replied, "and the second after speaking the name of Muhammad himself."

"Full marks for the pretty witch in the glasses," said Lara. "You have to push the panels in the proper order, but after you push each one, you have to push that bottom panel as well before you move on to the next one. And when you finally push the panel for Muhammad, you then have to push the _top_ panel. A devout Muslim doesn't speak the name of a prophet without adding the proper _salah_ afterwards. In the time when this door was built -- eighth century, I'd guess -- no infidel would know all that."

"I'll open it now. You ladies might want to stand back in the corridor in case I'm wrong, though."

None of them went anywhere. Lara looked at them questioningly.

Buffy smiled at her. "Think we'd show that little confidence in a sister Slayer? Open your door and let's raid this here tomb."

Lara smiled back. She turned to the door and pressed all of the proper panels. There was barely time to step back out of the way before a click sounded from somewhere deep within, and the door swung open.

A ghastly stench wafted out, causing all the women to gasp and cover their mouths and noses.

"Oh, God, I remember that smell," groaned Buffy.

"Fine, rancid Hellmouth," confirmed Sandra. "Buffy, I think you and I are the only ones here who have ever been this close to one before."

"Oh, I've gotten a nose-full or two myself, back in olden times," said Willow.

Holding her nose, Lara peered through the door into the chamber beyond, which seemed to be illuminated with a disgusting green-and-yellow light.

"I think there may be issues here apart from the Hellmouth," she reported.

Hanging suspended by their necks from the ceiling of the chamber were dozens and dozens of corpses. There were men and women, children and adults and old people, seemingly of every race, nationality and walk of life… even from every time period, from ancient to modern. Their eyes were all open, and they stared weirdly toward the door.

The corpses were packed as tightly together as suits hanging in a closet. They blocked the room completely from wall to wall, their feet dangling a foot or so off the floor.

And... that floor. At first Buffy's group assumed it was made of some sort of polished red stone or tile. A closer look revealed that it was awash in blood -- fresh blood, from God only knew where, which covered the entire visible portion of the floor from wall to wall and corner to corner.

Buffy sighed. "This," she declared, "is going to suck."

They stepped into the room, wincing at the disgusting bloody muck that immediately engulfed their boots and made horrible squelching noises as they walked.

"So I take it we have to go through these bodies to get to the Hellmouth," said Satsu with a burning lack of enthusiasm.

"Pretty much," confirmed Sandra.

"Well," said Rowena, leaning in close to look into one corpse's glassy eyes. "It will be disgusting. But we've done disgusting...._owww_!"

She jumped back with a sob of pain, clutching at her cheek. The body she'd been studying had lashed out with lightning speed, opening a bloody gash on her face.

As if that were a cue, every one of the bodies began to lurch and struggle and lash out in all directions, making an eerie rustling sound as they did. They seemed to have no voices at all, which almost made things worse.

Willow made an attempt to fly up above the grisly tableau and see what lay beyond, but as soon as her feet left the floor she fell heavily back down again. She doubled over and vomited into the muck.

After a little back-rubbing from Sandra she caught her breath enough to speak. "S...something in this blood is poisoning my magic," she gasped. "The spells work all right, but my head spins so much I can't even see straight."

Willow took Rowena back out into the corridor for a few minutes, away from the repulsive gore, so that she could heal her injured face.

"Is this the kind of thing devout Muslims were into back in the day?" Buffy asked Lara.

"Not at all. This is a much more recent addition." Lara wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Someone has seen too many George Romero movies."

Satsu had gotten down on her hands and knees in the awful mire, and peered down along the floor, underneath the kicking, dangling feet. "It looks like these bodies only go about fifty feet back," she reported. "There's an open area beyond. Buffy... uh, Ma'am... I'm the smallest one here and the best at getting through tight spaces. I can crawl underneath these things and see what's on the other side."

"Satsu," said Buffy evenly. "You're proposing to belly-crawl fifty feet through inch-deep blood and gore, centimeters beneath a small army of zombies all trying to practice some very grim proctology on you, and then pop up and deal with God-knows-what on the other side?"

"Check, and check," Satsu confirmed with a quick nod.

"Solid plan," said Buffy. "Good initiative. Be very careful, and keep in constant verbal communication. I want to know exactly how you are every second. If you run into anything you call for help immediately. Got it?"

"Got it." Without hesitation Satsu got down on her belly and wriggled forward underneath the first row of corpses. Her companions watched as her lithe body, clad in silvery skintight Slayer Suit, disappeared into that dangling graveyard.

"That's my girl," Buffy murmured to herself appreciatively.

"She's your girlfriend?" Lara asked.

"Sure is." Buffy still couldn't believe how happy it made her to say that.

"She's lovely," Lara said. "Or will be again, when she's had a bath."

Buffy chuckled.

Satsu pulled off her task admirably, and within minutes she announced that she was through on the other side.

"What've you got?" Buffy called.

"This end of the room is raised up a few inches like a platform," Satsu called back. "There's no blood on top of it, which is nice. There's a big round door in the wall here, maybe ten feet across. Lots of fancy ironwork and nasty looking skulls and gargoyles. Made by somebody who's actually met some gargoyles, by the way. He got the brow ridges just right..."

"That's our Hellmouth," said Sandra.

"There are also four life-sized gold horse statues here. Two standing on either side of the door."

Lara stiffened and caught her breath.

Buffy looked at her. "Got some insights re: golden horsies?"

Lara sighed. "Sorry, force of habit. I don't need to be keeping things from you ladies, I can tell. Those golden horsies are the reason I'm down here. I needed to find out if they really existed (mission accomplished), and get them back up topside if I could figure out a way (mission not accomplished)."

"So I take it we're not talking spraypaint jobs here."

"Oh, no. The Golden Stallions of the Sun are solid gold. That alone is enough to make them worth millions, but it's not all. When they're touched by direct sunlight they come to life, just as if they were real horses. And they... um..."

"Talk, and try to set Wilbur up on dates?" Buffy suggested helpfully.

"What? No. They... they _poo_ gold as well."

The girls all stared at Lara for a few moments before bursting into laughter.

All except Leah. "Jings," she said in a voice filled with wonder. "I grew up on a farm with horses. I shovelled shite until my muscle cramps had muscle cramps of their own. If all that crap was made of gold..."

The other girls suddenly found the idea a lot less funny as well.

"No more cleaning out drug lords' and dictators' Swiss bank accounts," Rowena pointed out.

Buffy thought about it. "That's a nice thought," she said, "but this is Lara's thing. She's the one who came looking for them."

"Actually," Lara said, "if you could think of a way to get them up to the surface, I'd gladly give you one of them. They weigh a couple of tons each, and until they're touched by direct sunlight, they're just big lumps of gold. That's a problem, here hundreds of feet underground."

Willow had been thinking hard. "So they come to life when sunlight touches them."

"Yes. And then they radiate sunlight from their bodies as well, for a time. The stories say it's hard to look at them when they're first activated like that."

"What are they doing down here, anyway?" Buffy asked.

"Well, they were created in Baghdad during the legendary times," Lara answered. "Flying carpets, genies, all that. The Caliph wanted to invade across the Pyrenees into Europe and convert it all to Islam. In order to finance that war, they sent these magic Stallions over to... poop out a never-ending supply of funding."

"This place we're in is called the Well of Abderame, named after the Muslim commander. He had this place built from the natural caverns as a storehouse for all of his magical gear. They must have thought they could draw power from this Hellmouth. They must have recognized it as a source of power, but not realized that it was evil. When they realized what they were dealing with, they put that door in place, hoping to lock it away behind a wall of solid iron and _fatwas_. It may have worked, for a few centuries..."

"Abderame was defeated and killed by the Franks at the Battle of Tours. They must have abandoned this place then… maybe even forgot about it."

"Why would they leave their precious golden horses in a horrible room like this, then?" Buffy wondered.

"I just don't know."

"I have an idea," Willow declared. "Satsu, sweetie?"

"Yes, Willow?"

"You have your Sun Gun with you?"

"Sure do."

"Why don't you try firing it at one of the horses? But don't look directly at the horse when you do."

"Okay... doing it now..."

There was a blinding flash of light from Satsu's end of the room, the sudden clatter of hooves on stone... and a choking blast of ghastly dust as all the dangling corpses disintegrated at once.

"Vamps?" Buffy gasped, holding her hands up to her mouth in an effort to create a breathable space. "Those were _vamps_?"

"Vamps or something like 'em," said Leah.

The view now cleared, Satsu and the very-much-alive golden horse (whose glow had subsided to a less dazzling level) could be seen on the platform at the far end of the room.

"Isn't he beautiful?" Satsu called. "If I shoot some sun at the other three, I'll bet we could..."

But whatever Satsu had been about to suggest was lost as a tendril of darkness, like some sort of huge tentacle, erupted from the center of the circular iron door behind her. Before anyone could react it wrapped itself firmly around Satsu's midsection and jerked her back toward the door, as if trying to yank her through the solid metal.

Her body encountered the barrier with a sickening crunch, and she slumped to the floor motionless as the tentacle disappeared back through the door.

With cries of alarm, Slayers and witches rushed the length of the room to her side.

_Please, no,_ Buffy thought frantically. _Please let me have this one. Just this one..._

Willow got to Satsu first, and ran a magically-probing hand up and down her body.

"Goddess," she said. "Just about every bone in her body is broken. She's still alive, though, I can heal her. It'll be okay."

Willow laid both hands on Satsu, and for the next few minutes the only sounds were the heavy breathing of worried Slayers and the crackling of powerful healing magic.

"All right," Willow said at last. "I've fixed everything. All her bones are back together and I've repaired the internal injuries. She might be a little sore."

"Why isn't she waking up?" Buffy asked in a higher-pitched voice than she'd intended.

"Satsu? Satsu, honey?" Willow lightly slapped the unconscious Slayer's cheeks. She pressed her fingertips to Satsu's temples and concentrated.

Moments later, she looked up at Buffy with eyes full of concern. "She's not here."

"Not here?" Buffy fought for control.

"Her spirit. It must've been taken from her body by... whatever that was. It took her astral form through the Hellmouth with it."

Buffy closed her eyes for a few moments, trying to find a center.

"So," she said, her voice steady with effort, "you're saying my gir... that Satsu has been sucked into Hell. Would that be an accurate way of putting it?"

"Buffy..." Willow looked up at her with eyes full of pity. No, not pity, Buffy corrected. Loving concern. _This isn't about me_, she thought. _Satsu doesn't need a drama queen or a weepy lover right now..._

She took a deep breath, then exhaled. "Alright," she said. "Then we're going through that Hellmouth and we're getting her back. Tell me how."

_**To be continued**_


	3. Chapter 3

In all the time she'd known her, Buffy had never seen Leah as close to tears as she was now. And Rowena seemed not far behind.

The problem wasn't that Satsu was in trouble... Satsu was _always_ in trouble. They were _all_ always in trouble.

The problem was that they were going to be left behind on the rescue mission, and Lara -- the newcomer -- wasn't.

"She's our best mate, Buffy," Leah said. "Lara here is all kinds of amazing with awesome sauce and a big bleeding cherry on top. But Satsu's our sister. Can't we go in with you?"

Buffy took Leah by the hand. This was a time to put General Buffy in the closet for a moment and let Human Being Buffy get some fresh air.

"I know how you feel," she told Leah. "But we need you two more out here than in there. This place is crawling with vamps, and Lara didn't come packing for them and doesn't have much experience fighting them. There's going to be three of us lying here completely helpless, and if anything happens to our bodies while we're in that Hellmouth, we never come back. If your body dies while your astral body is in Hell, Hell is where you stay." She looked at Sandra, who nodded in confirmation.

"Will we have any way to know if you are all right?" Rowena asked, her German accent seeming a bit thicker than it had in recent months.

"Sandra and I will be keeping close watch on their astral signatures," Willow said. "We won't know what they're doing, but we'll be able to tell if they're okay. That's another reason we need you two here. We'll be too distracted to be much help if we're attacked. And I don't even know if our magic will work right in this crazy room."

Leah gave a resigned sigh. "We've got our job to do," she said. "But we hate not going with you, Buffy, ma'am. Put that in the official record, or whatever."

"It'll be okay," Buffy assured her. "And after we're done here, I'm taking you two and Satsu to Cannes for a week. As four friends, not as Mama Hen Slayer and her chicks. I want to see how that new tartan bikini looks on you, Leah."

Leah smiled. "Eh, you just want a look at my excellent bum."

"If I did, maybe I would be taking you into the Hellmouth with me. Our astral bodies are going to be..."

"...Naked," Sandra finished for her. "Quite a bit more than naked, in fact. Only living material can make the trip. So no clothes, no weapons, no equipment. And this might be a good time to ask if either of you have anything artificial in your bodies. Plates, pins, cybernetic implants? Other kinds of implants?" Sandra gave Lara a hard look.

"Nothing here I didn't grow myself," Lara confirmed with a smile.

"Same here," Buffy said. "I must've had a shorter growing season, though."

"Wait," said Rowena, alarmed. "No weapons? You two are going into Hell with no weapons?"

"Not precisely," Sandra said. "The Scythe exists simultaneously in all dimensions. It's a Reality Anchor. Quite a powerful trait, actually. They'll be able to take that in with them. But as far as anything else, they'll have to use what they can find on the other side."

"How do we find Satsu when we get there?" Buffy asked.

Sandra sighed. "This is going to sound stupid," she said, "but that True Love thing you and Satsu have? It's, uh, more than just fairy tales and romance. It's a form of electro-magnetic current. Souls are self-contained EM power sources and True Love is a connection between them. In this world you can't sense it as such, but in Hell there isn't any love at all except what you bring in with you. You should be able to sense Satsu and track her without too much trouble. It'll be like being in a world with only one radio station. Easy to tune in."

Buffy considered. "That's not stupid," she said. "It's _silly_. There's a difference. Silly I'll do. Stupid I won't."

"That will certainly be a helpful policy to follow in Hell," Sandra agreed.

"But that electro-magnetic current stuff?" Buffy gave a sour look. "You totally just ruined Valentine's Day forever, did you know that?"

"Sorry."

* * * * *

Buffy didn't throw up when she and Lara materialized, which was unusual for her. There had been no real sense of movement when the spell had been cast. She had simply been lying on the floor of the Hellmouth room one moment, and lying in Hell the next.

Astral body or not, Buffy felt real enough. They were still underground, in some fairly stereotypical version of Hell that featured lots of dark jagged rocks, a reddish glow that seemed to emanate from nowhere in particular, and the smell of fart gas (which she considered more descriptive than "brimstone.")

Getting up, the first thing she saw was Lara, lying absolutely naked a few feet away from her, her beauty rather undercutting the horrible aspect of this place.

"You're really not kidding with that body, are you?" Buffy said to her as she gave her a hand up.

"The view from where I'm standing isn't bad either," Lara said with a smile as both women brushed the pebbles and dust off their bottoms. "Of course, the lack of my sports bra is going to be an annoyance. I bounce."

"I noticed," Buffy said with a smirk. "You jiggle too."

"Now, now," Lara said severely. "Let's put the ogling and flirting on hold until _after_ we've found your girlfriend." She gave Buffy a mischievous smile. "Then the three of us can do as much of it as we want."

Buffy shook her head and smiled. She hefted the Scythe, which had indeed made the trip with them in solid form. _This is going to be an interesting day_, she thought.

"Ow," Lara said, putting her hand to her jaw.

"What?"

"I seem to have left a couple of dental crowns back in the real world. It's a good thing Hell is hot. Cold air would definitely be bad at the moment."

Sandra had been right about being able to pick up on what direction Satsu's astral body had gone. It was sort of like following the scent of coffee or bacon in the morning. _So this is what love is like in Hell_, Buffy thought. _Breakfast._

The demons apparently thought so too, judging by the number of them showing up, one or two at a time, probably to investigate the unusual taste in the air. Fortunately the narrow corridors only allowed for small demons, and Buffy and Lara took turns, one of them putting the Scythe to use while the other remained safely in the back. After a few fights, they managed to scavenge a decent-sized club and a makeshift dagger off the corpses of their opponents.

"How far can Satsu have gone, anyway?" Lara asked after more than an hour of following the twisting tunnels. "My direction sense almost never lets me down, and I know I can still find our way back to the Hellmouth, but the farther we go, the farther we have to fight our way back."

"Sandra said people don't always materialize right inside the Hellmouth entrance," Buffy said. "They can pop in anywhere up to a mile away. I just hope Satsu had the good sense to stay put and keep out of sight."

They stopped to sit on a convenient outcropping of rock (one that didn't have too many sharp protrusions to torture bare bottoms) and rest for a few minutes. "So," Buffy said. "Is this the kind of thing you spend your time doing too?"

"Hmmm." Lara looked into the distance. "Let's see, what did Lara do on her holidays? Well, my enemies created an exact duplicate of me to fuck with my life... quite a success, that. My dead mother was brought back as a zombie and I had to put her down. _That_ was so much fun. My home was blown to bits, taking a very good friend and colleague with it. And I started a delightful and very torrid sexual relationship with someone who'd been trying to kill me for quite some time, and vice versa."

Buffy gaped at her.

"What?" Lara asked.

"Seriously... are you sure you're not _me_?"

"Really? What sort of things do you get up to, then?"

"All that stuff you just said?"

Lara nodded.

"Me too."

"Oh. Christ."

They sat in silence for a few more minutes until Buffy started with alarm.

"Lara? I... I can't feel her anymore."

"Satsu?"

Buffy nodded numbly. "Oh, God... what happened to her?" Tears welled up.

Lara put a comforting arm around her shoulder. "Now, don't panic, Buffy. She might just have gone out of range and we'll have to pick up her scent again. She may even just be asleep or something. There's no need to think the worst."

Buffy bit her lip and nodded. Lara brushed away the couple of tears that had managed to leak out. "Let's go get her, Slayer."

* * * * *

After a few more minutes of walking, Buffy and Lara arrived in a very large cavern with several tunnels exiting from it, and no idea which one might lead to Satsu. That was Bad Thing Number One.

Bad Things Number Two and Three were two very large, very dangerous demons who seemed to be in a life-or-death struggle in the center of the cavern. One was a thirty-foot tall Abominable Snowman type with claws longer than Buffy. The other seemed to a gigantic scorpion with the torso, arms and head of a woman. Either one of them could have used the Scythe as a toothpick.

The Scorpion-Woman-Demon was as big as a fire engine, and roughly the same color, except for her human parts, which were white as snow. Her gigantic bare breasts and short white hair bobbed and bounced in all directions as she tried to move into position for a strike with her massive stinger, which was dripping yellowish venom. Buffy and Lara could smell her sweat all the way across the cavern. There was a look of desperate madness in her eyes.

The Abominable Snowman made a mistake soon enough, and the She-Scorpion struck at last, so quickly the eye could barely follow. The big brute couldn't even draw breath for a death scream before the huge stinger buried in his side pumped what must have been a bathtub full of venom into his body. Buffy and Lara could see the stinger pumping and throbbing as it delivered its deadly payload.

The She-Scorpion clenched her fists and screamed, her face twisted in what looked an awful lot like... an orgasm? But this was Hell, and the relative positions of pain and pleasure weren't entirely clear.

Spent at last, the monster let her head slump forward on her chest, her body and hair dripping with sweat. A sizzling sound came from the other beast's prone corpse... it seemed to be dissolving before their eyes.

And even more horribly, a chittering sound soon began to emanate from the thing's remains, which were now twitching and squirming wetly on the ground. Seconds later a small army of rat-sized Scorpion Things erupted from it, bursting out of every orifice and readily creating new exits of their own. As Buffy and Lara watched in horrified fascination, the things began eating the liquefied remains they'd just crawled out of... and then started in on each other.

The Mother Scorpion Demon looked over right at the two tiny Slayers. They both tensed, preparing to make a run back into the narrow corridor, but the demoness only gave them an exhausted smile.

"Don't be afraid," she called to them. "I'm quite sated now. It was a close thing, though. A few more seconds and I'd have had to paint the walls and ceiling of this cavern with my venom-seed. My little darlings would have withered away and died with no food." She looked lovingly down at the awful things, which were now about half their original number (one half having devoured the other half), and were now all roughly the size of terriers. And still going at one another.

As they stared at the demoness, Buffy heard Lara whispering curses to herself. "What is it?" she asked.

"Hello again, Lara," the demoness called in a surprisingly soft voice. "Happy to see me?"

"We're in Hell," Lara growled. "So yes."

Buffy looked blankly at Lara. "You two _know_ each other?"

"Buffy Summers," Lara said, "meet Jacqueline Natla. Former Bitch Queen of Atlantis, and current Bitch Bane of My Life. This is a bit of a new look for her, but I can adapt. Lend the Scythe for a moment, please? I probably can't kill her, but I can make a good start at chopping her bloody tits off before she kills me."

"Really, Lara," the demoness said in a tone of contempt. "Such gutter language, and so beneath you. Is that the way the British train their nobility these days?"

"Besides," she sniffed. "You already killed me quite thoroughly the last time with that damnable hammer. And now you have the satisfaction of seeing what's become of me, for the time being. How is Amanda, by the way? Are the two of you still licking each other's genitals, or have you gone back to punches and gunplay?"

"She's far happier now than she has been since before she met you," Lara answered.

"But happier since before you left her to die in Peru all those years ago?"

"Much happier," said Lara without hesitation. "I can see it in her beautiful blue eyes every time I kiss her."

Natla smiled a smile that most definitely did not reach her own eyes. She looked down to check the progress of her babies, and saw that there were only two left, now the size of Great Danes, and trying their best to kill each other.

She reached down and picked up the ghastly scorpion-things, pulling them apart. She held them up to her breasts, and gasped in momentary pain as they both clamped down with their toothy maws, sinking their teeth deep into her flesh, and began to suckle milk and blood from her in equal amounts.

She let go of them, letting them dangle from her like a pair of gruesome ornaments.

"As it happens," she said pleasantly. "I was sent here to help you. To guide you. I know you've lost your way here. But the one rule of Hell is that everyone always knows exactly where they're going."

"Do you know where Satsu is?" Buffy blurted out. "Is she alive? Why can't I feel her anymore?"

Natla smiled at her. "The pretty little morsel who came to visit us is very much alive, yes. Alive and nearby. I'll tell you exactly where to find her. The Congeries has her."

"Congeries?"

"Oh yes. You're a Vampire Slayer, aren't you? You know how vampires drain the blood from their victims, leaving an empty shell behind. The Congeries drains all the _love_ from its victims... and leaves an empty shell behind."

Natla looked down and stroked the two things that sucked at her bleeding breasts.

"The reason you can't feel her anymore, darling? It's because she no longer loves you. Or anyone. Or anything. And never will again."

She grinned radiantly at Buffy and Lara. "Did you think this was one of your tombs, Lara, or some sort of crypt to fight your way through, Slayer? Welcome to Hell, ladies."

_**To be continued…**_


	4. Chapter 4

Natla led them to a place filled with eyes.

Literally. The Hall of Congeries was a strange archway set into a cavern wall, from which a corridor could be seen stretching off into the distance. The corridor looked as if it belonged in a Victorian country house. The walls and vaulted ceilings were made of dark wood, intricately carved. Expensive-looking carpets covered the floor, and rows of doors were set at random intervals into both walls.

Floating lazily within that corridor, bobbing and drifting about at various heights, were hundreds of disembodied human eyes, seemingly of all different colors and shades. A few of them turned to look at the nearby demoness and the two Slayers, but most of them paid no apparent heed.

"You'll find your companion at the end of the Hall," Natla said. "Don't open any of the side doors. You'll die if you do."

"Where's this Congeries thing that has Satsu?" Buffy demanded.

"You're looking at it," said Natla. "Technically an _it_, though it looks more like a _them_, I'll grant."

"The eyes?" Lara asked.

"The eyes. They see what they want to see, and their reality reshapes itself accordingly. By now, your friend is seeing what they want her to see as well."

"You say these things… this thing… _eats love_?" Buffy still could detect no hint of Satsu's presence.

"Yes. A rare delicacy in these parts."

"What does it do with the love it eats?"

"It suffers the same fate as any prey that is devoured by a predator. Part of it becomes sustenance, to make its enemy stronger. The rest is transformed into shit."

"Charming as ever, Your Majesty," Lara muttered.

"But take heart," said Natla brightly. "You can still save her, you know. The Congeries finds love much more delicious to consume when the object of that love is on hand to feel the loss. If you despair enough, it may feed on your love, too. Believe me… this one is never sated."

But Buffy had heard only one part of that speech. "You said I can still save her?"

"Certainly. There would have been no point in my leading you here if you couldn't. The point is for you to try, and fail. You can save her, but even if you can find out how, you won't do what you need to do. You won't be able to bring yourself to. And you'll lose her."

"You don't know me very well, do you? You should take a look at the unrated director's cut version of my life sometime."

"Love," sighed Natla, prodding the hideous things dangling from her breasts. "In the world above, it's the muse of poets and the force that causes the sun to rise in the morning. In this world… it's food, and then it's shit. You'll see."

* * * * *

The corridor was longer than it appeared from the end, and Buffy and Lara passed dozens of closed doors and hundreds of floating eyes on their way to the other end. Lara eyed the doors curiously and occasionally swatted at any eyeballs that drifted close enough to trigger her gag reflex. Buffy had no interest in the doors at all. Satsu wasn't behind any of them.

The far end of the hall, when they reached it at last, opened into a large rectangular chamber. The floor, walls, and high ceiling were draped with expensive-looking oriental carpets that seemed to hang in place with no regard for gravity. Thousands of the strange floating eyes congregated here.

Near one end of the chamber was a six-foot-tall pylon that seemed to be made of smoked glass or quartz. It glowed with a white light, giving the room its only source of illumination. At the other end of the room was an identical pylon, this one dark. As Lara and Buffy entered the room a large number of the eyes gravitated toward the illuminated pylon, moving in a rippling pattern like a school of fish. Was there something defensive in that movement?

Satsu knelt in the center of the room, naked, back straight, and sitting back on her heels in the Japanese style. She gave not the slightest acknowledgment to Buffy and Lara's arrival.

Buffy made a bee-line to her, though Lara was more wary.

"Let me have the Scythe, Buffy. I'll keep a sharp eye on these gopping things while you see to your girl." Buffy handed the weapon to her without a look.

Buffy knelt down next to Satsu, praying for some sign of recognition. She reached out and put her hand gently on Satsu's kneeling thigh, and felt her familiar soft, smooth skin stretched tight over toned muscles. That skin felt warm and healthy, not clammy or feverish. _First good thing_, Buffy thought. _Let's go for more._

She leaned in and gave Satsu a gentle kiss on her lips. It was not returned, but Satsu turned her head to look at her.

"Ma'am," she said wanly.

"Satsu? Do you know who I am?"

"Of course. I've been fighting at your side for nearly two years, and exchanging orgasms with you for one."

Buffy stared at her. _Was that a joke? Was that her sense of humor? Yay?_

Satsu just stared through her.

_I guess not._

There was something wrong. Buffy could tell, even in the dim light, that this really was Satsu. Her hair was black and mussed rather than sporting its usual blue tinge and funky style (dyes, conditioners and elastic bands having been left behind in the Real World). Buffy certainly recognized those pretty little breasts with the upturned brown nipples. Satsu's skin was just the right shade (coffee with extra cream). She had the right number of earring-holes (two below, three above). And her eyes...

"_But you're not gay." "Not so you'd notice."_

Buffy jerked back as if she'd been slapped. _Where did that come from? Who said that?_

She was vaguely aware of Lara stalking around the chamber, irritatedly swatting at the eyeballs with the Scythe, and keenly studying that illuminated pylon from various angles and distances. But Satsu...

"Satsu?" Buffy said tentatively. "Is something wrong?"

"Not anymore," Satsu answered, looking at Buffy without any sign of emotion.

"_It's fine for me, it's bad for you bad for you bad for you bad bad..."_

Buffy gathered herself up, and squatted by Satsu, looking at her intently.

"Satsu-chan," she said softly. "I love you. Do you love me?"

Satsu looked up at her as if she didn't understand the question.

"_Maybe go to a hell dimension... Did not mean to end up there."_

"I cried when I said that," Buffy said. "Am I supposed to cry now?"

"What?" said Satsu, seeming confused.

Buffy took Satsu's head in both hands and turned her face, so as to look directly into her eyes. The flood of doubt and sorrow nearly knocked her over. A cacophony of voices, speaking many different words but meaning the same thing.

_She doesn't love you. You're a phase. An experiment. A sex doll that talks. There is no love for you._

Buffy had to blink away the tears. How much of this had been hiding in the back of Satsu's mind the whole time they'd been together? The doubt. The uncertainty. It must have hurt her, just by being there. But Satsu was stronger than that. She knew the difference between those fears and doubts and the reality of their love.

Something was wrong in her eyes.

Buffy braved the tidal wave of hurtful words and stared intently into them. And in a moment she knew what was wrong, and... what she had to do.

The she-demon's taunts came back to her mind... _You can save her, but even if you can find out how, you won't do what you need to do. You won't be able to bring yourself to._

And she wondered if she could. Because if she was wrong...

"My Satsu's eyes," she said, her voice trembling just a bit, "are the most beautiful things I've ever seen. I've spent hours at a time staring into them. Wishing I could _live_ in them. I dream about them when I'm asleep, and I daydream about them when I'm awake. And let me tell you..."

_Please let me be right please let me be right please please let me be right..._

"Cheap imitations are not so much."

And she plunged both of her thumbs deep into those eyes. Warm goo flooded out of the sockets, all over Buffy's fingers and palms.

There was a terrible scream. Buffy's heart stopped. But it wasn't Satsu's voice. Buffy's heart started again.

She looked down, and there were the eyes she loved so much, gazing up at her from Satsu's astonished face. "Buffy?"

"There you are," Buffy said, nearly weeping with relief. "Oh God, there you are."

She threw her arms around Satsu and hugged her as tightly as she could. As she did, she felt the connection between them snap back into place with the force of a lightning strike. The memories of their first night together rolled in like the first thunderstorm of spring...

_The gentle kiss Buffy had surprised herself by offering, without being asked... the gasp of surprise, and then the breathtaking passion with which it was returned, tasting of cinnamon and Satsu. The dizzying, frantic sensations of sliding clothes, stroking fingers, lips and tongues, gasps and moans... the sight and scent and taste and sound of her, and oh God the feel of her... then the unbearable tickling between her legs that led with astonishing speed to... oh, it's her doing this to me it's Satsu it's her... a blinding white flash and a slow-motion explosion of ecstasy. And again, and again, over and over, all her cares and fears and sorrows draining away in the delicious flood._

_Then Satsu whimpering with joy as Buffy returned her love, tentative and unsure, shivering with excitement at the newness of the experience, and the knowledge that she was making this wonderful girl's dreams come true, bringing her so much pleasure, making her feel so special and so loved, just as she herself had just been made to feel..._

_And then the sweet, sleepy Afterwards, with nothing left to do but gaze at each other and nothing left to say but Wow._

Then the embarrassment, and the denial, and the _fucking stupidity_, and Satsu walking sadly away from her in that airport in Tokyo...

And it didn't matter, because now she was here in her arms, those lovely eyes closed in contentment. "Buffy," she said sleepily. "You're all naked and beautiful."

Buffy laughed and held her girl tighter.

"Buffy," shouted Lara. "I think we'd best make plans to leave."

Looking around, Buffy noticed that the eyeballs no longer resembled a collection of bobbing soap-bubbles so much as a swarm of angry bees.

"They're not happy at losing their meal," said Lara. "I think maybe they can only possess one person at a time. When you did what you did to the ones riding Satsu... and, might I observe, _ick_... we turned into the new targets. Keep them away from your eyes!"

Within moments, the three women found themselves frantically swatting the foul little orbs away from their faces. They swarmed so thickly and so close that Lara was able to smash several of them with a single swipe of the Scythe... but that only brought another weird scream, and a redoubled effort from the teeming little horrors.

The only exit from the room, they soon realized, was blocked completely from floor to ceiling by the swarming Congeries. They had little chance of fighting their way through that barrier, then all the way back down the long hallway, without any or all of them being pulled down, overwhelmed and invaded.

"There's got to be some kind of _body_ behind these things," Buffy said. "Something that's controlling them."

"That lighted pillar over there looks like a good candidate," Satsu observed. "It seems to be the center of the swarm."

"Yes," agreed Lara. "That's certainly the impression our friend here has been trying to give us since we arrived."

Raising the Scythe, she charged directly at the lighted column. The eyes converged on her... but then she whirled around and sent the Scythe pinwheeling the length of the chamber and into the dark pylon at the other end, smashing it to bits.

There was no scream this time. But all three women guessed that probably would have been preferable to the sound of 10,000 eyeballs bouncing and splattering on the floor at the same time.

"Nothing is ever the way it seems with these Level Bosses," Lara observed, wrinkling her nose in disgust as she waded barefoot through the mess to retrieve the Scythe.

Buffy and Satsu just stared at her in amazement. "No wonder nerds get so hot and bothered over you," Buffy said, shaking her head. "You really need to meet my friend Xander. Uh, maybe when you have some clothes on, though. Wouldn't want him to hurt himself."

When they reached the mouth of the corridor and finally stepped out of the Hall of Congeries, neither Lara nor Buffy were surprised to see that Natla had not waited for them.

They were, however, surprised to see that the surrounding areas of Hell had apparently not waited for them either.

"This," said Buffy darkly, "is not the same as it was when we came in."

"No, it isn't," Lara confirmed.

"So we're lost. In Hell."

"It looks that way."

But, then again... Buffy detected a certain feeling in the air. Almost like a scent, urging her to follow one particular passage that looked very much like the other half-dozen passages they had to choose from.

It felt very much like the feeling she'd used to track Satsu when she'd first arrived in Hell. But Satsu was standing there, right next to her, and she could feel the unmistakable connection to her like a warm fire on a winter night.

But... there was no question about it. Buffy knew which way they had to go.

Less than half an hour, and only two minor demon attacks later, they arrived at a circular iron door set into the stone wall of the corridor.

"Buffy," said Lara, "if we weren't both naked and your girlfriend weren't standing right there, I'd kiss you."

As Willow had instructed Buffy and Lara (and they now informed Satsu), they simply placed their hands on the portal and let their minds go blank, as if they were trying to fall asleep.

They had the sensation of passing through a long, dark tunnel. After an uncertain amount of time they became aware of brighter light, and of slightly fresher, slightly cooler air.

Buffy sat up, then abruptly _stood_ up with a pained squeak to deal with the cramps in the muscles of both her legs. Nearby, she saw Lara and Satsu (whose head was cradled in Willow's lap) also stirring awake.

"Clothes," Buffy sighed after her cramps had subsided. "How I love clothes. And dignity."

Leah and Rowena were at the other end of the room near the huge door, which they had apparently managed to coax shut a few feet, in order to create a narrower passage. Buffy immediately knew there had been attacks during their absence.

Willow and Sandra looked as if they were the ones who'd just been through Hell. Both looked exhausted, covered in sweat, and there were tear streaks down Willow's cheeks.

"Welcome back, Buffy," Will said in a tired voice. "You don't know how glad I am to see you."

"Actually," said Buffy, "I think maybe I do. But what's been going on?"

"Four vamp attacks," Willow reported. "I've had to heal Leah and Rowena twice each – they've been absolutely kicking vamp butt, by the way – and Sandra and I have both barfed up everything in our stomachs casting spells. This room is not my happy place. Oh, and Satsu was dead for about thirty minutes. So how did things go with you?"

_**To be concluded.**_


	5. Chapter 5

First things first – Buffy pelted the length of the room, through the bloody, mucky mess on the floor, to see what Leah and Rowena were dealing with. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Willow hug a startled Satsu and kiss her on the top of her head, and then Satsu was on her feet and following right behind her.

Leah and Rowena both looked terrible, and Buffy had never been prouder of them.

"Perfect timing," said Rowena with a smile as Buffy and Satsu arrived.

"Looks like they're about to go for lucky try number five," Leah said. "We've been giving 'em a bad time of it with the Sun Gun and the Bitch (meaning my stake here, not Ro), but it's getting weaker. I think the sun is starting to go down, up there."

"More trouble with twilight," Buffy sighed.

Peering out the door, Buffy could see a large horde of vampires... including some flyers, it looked like... gathering down the corridor, just around a corner that kept them out of the direct line of that cruel gun.

"I know what to do," said Satsu. The other three turned to look at her.

"Let me have the Sun Gun. If we've only got a few more shots, let's make 'em count. You might want to open that door back up all the way."

"She's got that look in her eyes, girls," Buffy declared, having never been happier to speak those words. "We'd better do what she says."

They pulled the door fully open, then headed back to meet Willow, Lara and Sandra by the Hellmouth portal. Satsu took a quick poll and concluded that Lara and Leah were the most experienced horse riders in the group, with herself and Rowena being competent enough to get by. "So Buffy, you can ride with Lara... and Willow, you can fly out with Sandra. You'll be able to keep up while carrying her weight, won't you?"

"Her weight doesn't matter," Willow said. "I just have to touch her, not carry her. We're like Peter Pan and Wendy."

"I am _nothing_ like Wendy," Sandra protested. "And we haven't done anything about this Hellmouth."

Buffy shook her head. "We're gonna need to regroup and rethink this mission. We're losing our Sun Gun, and if we don't get out of here now we're going to be seven very pretty and well-groomed buffet specials."

"On that note," Satsu said, "You might want to turn toward the front of the room and cover your eyes with your arms. I'm not sure your hands are going to get the job done."

When the other girls all had their eyes well-shielded, Satsu carefully noted the position of all four golden Sun Stallions. She took a deep breath, covered her own eyes, and fired the Sun Gun four times, very precisely.

Even with their eyes buried in their arms, the flash was visible and intense. Satsu silently thanked the gods or ancestors or whatever that there was no heat to go along with it. There were some very beautiful heads of hair in this room, and it would have been a long and arduous task to grow it all back. Especially Leah's.

After about a minute, the light faded sufficiently for squinting. Three things were immediately apparent: first, the four Stallions were now quite animated, quite dazzling, and quite determined to scatter to the four corners of the room, with Leah and Rowena doing their best to herd them back. Second, the disgusting blood on the floor had evaporated completely, leaving a clean tile floor. And third, the iron portal of the proto-Hellmouth was now a broken pile of melted slag, falling off the stone wall to reveal nothing but bare rock behind it.

"That's one very good way of doing it," said Sandra, impressed. "I guess now we know why they put those horses in here."

"Is that the end of it?" Lara asked.

"Hellmouths don't like direct sunlight," Sandra said. "That's why they always seed underground. That Sun Gun alone couldn't have focused enough of it to make much of a difference, but this... perfect."

"Another Hellmouth closed for business. Let's mount up, girls," called Buffy. "Last one back to the Ponderosa has to be Paw's bed-warmer tonight."

"What the _feck_ is she on about now?" Leah asked. Rowena just shrugged.

The howling started as soon as the four horses and their occupants burst out of the chamber and into the vampire-occupied corridor. Horse-brought sunlight flooded every nook and cranny of the place, and within moments the Slayers found that the choking clouds of vamp-dust were more of an annoyance than any surviving undead.

Their path back to the entry shaft was clear... or at least, was never blocked for more than a few seconds. As they galloped past the various crevasses they could hear the Pit Hydra stirring somewhere below, but it kept well out of sight. It had had enough of bright lights for one day.

Soon enough they arrived at the bottom of the shaft they'd descended earlier in the day. They could see the tiny circle of fading sunlight up above.

"How were you planning to get these up there?" Leah asked Lara.

"Lift them out by helicopter, I guess," Lara replied with a shrug. "I hadn't really thought about it yet. This was just a recon trip."

"These horsies don't look like they'd be too good at rope climbing," Buffy said. "Are you gonna have to fly them up one at a time, Willow?"

"Please, Buffy. This is _me_. You know, the same me who zapped your 50-foot-tall sister from Scotland to Tokyo with full freshness and minimal bruising? This is like a Sunday in the park with George. Oh, uh... you might want to sit down and maybe close your eyes. I know this teleporting thing makes you a barfy Buffy."

Willow giggled at her own clever phrasing, an did her Superman thing up the shaft. Moments later her companions all felt a sudden jolt and sense of vertigo. And then they were standing (or sitting, or falling) in the grassy meadow at the top of the shaft, just as the sun was going down. The four golden horses immediately began grazing, just as if they were real horses that shat shit instead of gold.

"And that's how we do that," said Willow.

"Girls... we have got to exchange numbers," said Lara. "This is the most fun I've ever had without having to revert to a saved game."

"You're weird," Buffy told her, scowling.

Lara and Buffy both took their satellite phones out.

"Zip?" said Lara into hers. "Ready for evac, love. Much success on this end. See you in a tick."

"Mission accomplished, Xander," said Buffy. "I think we're gonna need the freight 'copter. We're bringing home a bonus."

"_Zip and Xander_?" Lara giggled. "Does that come on right after _Jackanory_?"

Buffy looked at her blankly.

"Save your breath, hen," Leah told Lara. "She's only in our country to take advantage of our sunny weather and delish cuisine."

Buffy shook her head. "All I know about English stuff I learned from Doctor Who, Daniel Craig, and Harry Potter."

"David Tennant and Hogwarts are both _Scottish_, I'll have you know," said Leah severely.

Buffy and Lara both rolled their eyes.

As they waited for the helicopters to arrive, the Slayers busied themselves in trying to keep the frisky Stallions together in some sort of organized group. Difficult to do, with no bridles or reins.

Satsu was wondering whether these things felt pain, and if tugging on the mane of one would earn her a bitten arm, when she caught the flash of cascading red hair in the corner of her eye, announcing the arrival of Leah the Highlander. "Need some help?"

"Yeah. I'm okay with riding horses, but I don't know how they work."

Leah chuckled. "You know, Satsumi-lass, we thought we'd lost you back there. In fact, we _knew_ we'd lost you. Dinna like that at all, nor did Ro. And I thought our Willow would rupture herself tryin' to get your heart beating again."

"I don't think I was dead," Satsu said, trying to remember. "A demon got the jump on me down there and I think maybe I was... hiding?"

"Well, anyway. It's good to have you back, _bishoujo_." And then Leah astonished Satsu by leaning in for a quick and slightly awkward kiss.

"Thank you," said Satsu. "And also, _whaaaa_? Have we finally worn you down, McPhee? Are you joining the Sisterhood?"

"Don't you wish," Leah said with a grin. "This was a special occasion, and that's the first and last one of _those_ you'll get from me."

"What an honor. I'll never wash these lips again."

"Oh, I think you'll be getting 'em washed pretty thoroughly tonight." Leah glanced significantly toward Buffy.

Satsu smiled and blushed. _Tonight. Mmmm._

* * * * *

Lara had invited Buffy and her group to spend the night at a villa she owned in the Dordogne, so after wrestling the Golden Stallions into the freight helicopter, they all took off with a much shorter trip ahead of them than they had expected. Lara had been met by her associate, Zip (whom Leah and Rowena both seemed quite taken with), and went on ahead in her smaller 'copter.

After Buffy made sure the Slayers piloting their own helicopter had the correct coordinates for Lara's villa, she stepped back into the dimly-lit hold. What little light there was came from the fading and now motionless Golden Stallions (which would neither glow nor move again until tomorrow morning) and from the tiny flickering screens of Leah and Rowena's cell phones, as they sat on a bench quietly playing games. Satsu was curled up sound asleep with her head in Rowena's lap.

Sandra was also asleep, on another bench. Willow sat silently by herself, staring off into space and lost in thought.

Buffy sat down on the bench next to her, put her arm around her shoulder, and gently pulled her close. "Hey," she said softly.

Willow looked at her with a questioning smile. "Hey yourself," she said. "You're all snuggly tonight."

"Had a long day." Buffy yawned. "Must snuggle. Girlfriend asleep."

"Ah."

"You had a pretty rough day yourself, Will."

"Yeah. I've had lots worse, though. At least I wasn't in Hell, like you. Just... you know, in the waiting room. It must have been nasty in there for Satsu to go all, uh, dead and stuff like that."

"Would have been a lot nastier if we hadn't been able to find our way back out."

"You had trouble getting back?"

Buffy nodded. "Turns out that part of Hell does a Rubik's Cube every so often. All the passages and rooms changed around on us. We never would have found our way back to the portal."

Willow frowned at her, confused. "How did you, then?"

Buffy took a few moments to think about things. "That thing you and Sandra told me, about being able to track down Satsu by feeling her love? Well, that worked fine, until the gross eyeball demon shut her down. But then, when we were headed back, I felt something a whole lot similar. None of the others felt it. I knew it was pointing the way to the portal."

Willow had gone very quiet, and was looking down at her lap. Buffy gave her shoulder what she hoped was a reassuring squeeze.

"Was it you I felt, Will? Are you in love with me?"

Buffy could remember a time, back in the sometimes-good old days, when a question like that would have sent Willow into a fit of blushing and babbling. But not now. Now, she looked up with a calm smile, and a look in her eyes of... was that a little bit of sadness?

"Last chance, Buffy."

"Last chance for what?"

"For me not to answer that question."

Buffy considered that. After a while she laid her head on Willow's shoulder. "You're crazy in love with Kennedy, aren't you?" she asked.

"I kinda am. And you're crazy in love with Satsu."

Buffy smiled and closed her eyes. "I kinda am," she repeated. "But Willow?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you. And I always, always will."

Willow said nothing. Just slipped her arm around Buffy and held her, until they set down at their destination.

* * * * *

Lara's villa in the south of France was one of only a half-dozen or so homes she had remaining after her then-enemy, now-lover Amanda blew up her ancestral manor house. This place looked like somewhere good people might go when they died. A beautiful, rustic, 18th century country house, covered in flowery vines and surrounded by orchards, meadows, vineyards, and little stands of forest.

The interior of the house had been outfitted with modern amenities without sacrificing any (well, much) of the old-world charm of the place. The bedframes were big and wooden and hand-carved. The bathtubs looked like women had once stomped grapes in them, but the plumbing was 100% modern. And the bathrobes were soft and white and fuzzy and warm.

Leah and Rowena, energetic little spitfires that they were, finally fell asleep in Lara's media room while watching _The Bourne Ultimatum_. That convinced them all it was time for bed.

Lara came out to say her goodnights wearing a nightgown that was revealing even by French standards. It hung off her breasts a good six inches away from her belly, and the frilly hemline didn't leave a single bit of those long Lara legs to the imagination.

"We'll sort the horses in the morning," she said. "Now, nice warm beds for everyone."

As the others wandered off to their assigned bedrooms, Buffy and Satsu stayed behind.

"So," Buffy told Lara. "Welcome to the world of the Chosen Ones. Or the Chosen Two Thousand Ones, I guess would be a better way of putting it. I don't suppose you want to throw away your guns in favor of swords and stakes, and come live with us in a drafty old house in Scotland and be hated by most of humanity?"

"You make it sound so glamorous," Lara said with a smirk. "But I think my guns and I wouldn't know what to do without each other."

"I figured. Might want to not let it get out that you're a Slayer, though. It could cost you some endorsements nowadays, and firearms are a little bit of a sore point."

"I understand."

Buffy stepped over and took Lara's hand. "I want you to call me any time you want. Just to talk, or, you know, if you ever need a dozen or so hot chicks with ninja skills to come and help you out of a jam."

"I will most certainly keep that in mind," Lara said.

"You're special to me, you know," Buffy said. "You're not just a Slayer, you're _my_ Slayer. Well, not the Slayer _of me_, but the one who got called when I died."

Lara made a face of curiosity. "You're going to have to explain this _when I died_ business to me someday."

"I will," Buffy promised. "It's a long, angsty story. They'll probably leave it out of the Saturday morning cartoon version of my life. But anyway, don't be a stranger."

Lara hesitated and chewed her lower lip for a moment. "The bed in your and Satsu's room is a nice, big, warm one," she said. "But I want you to know I'd be... _considerably_ more than happy to make it a bit warmer for the two of you."

Buffy and Satsu smiled at each other.

"That... is definitely getting into _happy thought_ territory," Buffy said. "But I think Satsu and I have quite a bit of heat of our own planned tonight. Is that what you have on your schedule as well, Slayer Satsumi?"

"Right there with you, ma'am," Satsu said with a grin and a salute.

"Of course," Lara said. "That was crude of me. I'm sorry for asking."

"Don't you dare be." Buffy leaned in and stole a not-so-quick kiss from her newfound sister Slayer.

Lara beamed. "I've kissed the Chosen One," she said. "Does that bring good luck?"

"No," said Buffy with a rueful smile. "It really, really doesn't."

Lara watched Buffy and Satsu disappear down the hallway. In a moment she noticed Willow looking at her from the shadows by the hautboy.

"You know," Willow said, "that body of yours definitely rates in the high double figures on the Universal Yumminess Scale."

"Thank you," Lara said. "You're the second beautiful lesbian to give it a good review today."

"Buffy being the first? Well, I'm not sure I'm ready to call her a _lesbian_ just yet. She still gets the tinglies over Daniel Craig and Brad Pitt and various and sundry boys both living and undead. Hasn't quite made her final vows to Ellen just yet. At this point, I'd call her more of a Satsusexual."

"Wonder what she's like in bed," Lara mused.

"I've asked Satsu about that," Willow said. "She's pretty cagey with her answers, but I did get one unmistakable image: _Wet_. Lots of wet wetness."

"Hmmm." Lara smiled. "So Buffy's not the type to hold back her enthusiasm, eh? That's a mental image that bears several nights of intense dwelling on."

"Way ahead of you, sister," Willow said, smiling back. "We're only human."

"So are _all_ of you ladies..."

"Homo- and/or Satsu-sexual?" Willow finished. "Nah. _I'm_ sure singing full-time with the girl group, and I've got a sexy brunette back in New York I'm very happy to call my sweetie. Sandra seduced her Spirit Guide and is in a long-term sexual relationship with… it. Don't even ask for the metaphysical analysis of _that_. Rowena's straight, and Leah's even straighter. Shirtless-Josh-Holloway-poster-over-her-bed straight."

"Well, dash it all. Beautiful young women everywhere I look, and not a drop to drink. Looks like I get to be a vibrosexual tonight."

"I was gonna talk to you about that," Willow said with a slightly wicked grin. "You know, we usually cast a few standard spells on new Slayers we identify. Just a few little things to make your soul easier to find in the event of mystical separation, and so forth. Normally that means a boring ritual with us sitting cross-legged and reciting a lot of Latin and Sumerian. But I've been working a lot lately with a, um, _special_ teacher, on something called Surge Magic."

"Surge magic?" Lara asked. "Does that have something to do with the Iraq War?"

"Not even a little bit. Surge magic is the power given off by the collective pleasure, sexual and otherwise (but mostly sexual) of all living beings. If you can harness into that power you can cast almost any non-dark spell faster and easier and with more lasting effect. Your nervous system acts as the transmitter and the receiver. And whoa baby, does it ever feel nice. For both the caster and the castee. That would be me, and you."

"So you're saying..."

"If you'd like, we could buff you up with some of those spells tonight. I won't touch any of your soft girl parts and you won't touch any of mine, but it involves being all naked and wriggly and it tickles like you wouldn't believe. I'm pretty sure you'll forget all about any plastic appliances you were thinking of using tonight."

Lara licked her suddenly dry lips. "I'm going to have to think about that for a while and say yes, when can we start, now please?"

"You've made a fine choice, Milady," Willow said. She and Lara went arm-in-arm to the master bedroom.

In their room, Leah and Rowena got to hear the happy music of whimpers and cries and moans, in stereo, which made Leah grumble and pretend to cover her head with her pillow, and Rowena giggle and lie back to enjoy the performances. Sandra had an energetic night's sleep with her Spirit Guide, and the other four got no sleep at all to speak of. But they all considered it one of the most relaxing nights they'd ever had.

_**The End**_


End file.
